Both sides had one world-class batsman - Michael Clarke now, Allan Border then. But the difference is/was that Border batted brilliantly, like a guy you would choose to bat for your life. Clarke, conversely, has not been at his best so far, scoring only 102 runs in four innings.
Border scored 597 runs in the 1985 series, including match-winning contributions of 196 and 41 not out in the second Test at Lord’s that levelled the series. There were also a couple of other very fine cricketers in that line-up too – David Boon, Craig McDermott and Geoff Lawson.
'The worst Ashes sides of all time' accusation was levelled at Australia during the 1986-87 series, but also at England before it had even started. The Australians branded Mike Gatting's team the weakest England team to arrive on their shores, while Martin Johnson famously wrote, "There's only three things wrong with this England – they can’t bat, can’t bowl and can’t field."
England managed to play decent cricket, though, beginning with their surprise win in the series opener at Brisbane, with Ian Botham hitting 138. The tourists had other high-quality players, from Chris Broad and his three hundreds in successive Tests, to David Gower, Phil Edmonds, John Emburey and Graham Dilley.
The Australians were weak, but Border was just starting to inspire a renaissance, confirmed by their final-Test win at Sydney. High-quality players such as Steve Waugh were also beginning to emerge.
They went on to inflict chastening defeats on two pretty sorry England line-ups. In 1989, Border got the better of David Gower’s lot, though this was in the days when Australia wrapped their bowlers up in cotton wool and the English system thought the best way to prepare was to flog their fast bowlers into the ground, bowling over after over in the county game. Australia also triumphed easily when hosting the 1990-91 tour party, after Graham Gooch’s hand infection threw the tourists’ plans into disarray.
The 1978-79 series featured a weak Australian side arguably to match this one, but their best players had been stripped out by Kerry Packer’s Circus. Graham Yallop had the unenviable task of leading what was essentially an Australia second team, bereft of the Chappell brothers, Dennis Lillee, Rod Marsh and many notable others, and they crashed to a 5-1 defeat.
The England side led by Mike Denness also endured a miserable series in 1974-75, but most people would struggle in those pre-helmet days on uneven wickets against the deadly duo, Lillee and Jeff Thomson.
The first series after the War in 1946-47 also saw England routed. Their players were too old and worn down by the rigours of conflict, and Australia had Don Bradman, Keith Miller and Ray Lindwall.
Much further back, England languished in the Ashes doldrums during the 1920-21 series, when Warwick 'The Big Ship' Armstrong led Australia to a whitewash.
The other weak England side that must be a contender for their worst ever is the 2006-07 lot (the only other Ashes whitewash), but the tourists were decimated by injuries and players missing with various problems, including Michael Vaughan, Marcus Trescothick and Simon Jones. It was all too much for stand-in skipper Andrew Flintoff, and their shambolic Test displays ultimately cost coach Duncan Fletcher his job.
Maybe a big Clarke hundred can save the day, but now it is this Australia side who are living in fear of a whitewash.
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