The greatest drama happened on the last day at Trent Bridge, when James Anderson roused himself beyond concert-pitch to prevent Australia’s last-wicket pair staggering over the line. And when the climax of a series comes in the opening Test, the rest is bound to be downhill.
England had no say in the shape of this narrative — indeed it was Australia’s fault for collapsing at Lord’s so that the bottom fell out of this series. England were always outright favourites, and when Graeme Swann reduced Australia from 42 without loss to 128 all out in their first innings, the outcome was all but sealed, with no fluctuations.
But where England had a say in this drama was in the set-up of the stages, and here the pitches were far too samey. England held the trump-card in Swann, and they played it in every single Test on very dry turners that were slow or, at best, easy-paced.
Playing the same hand in the same way every time has worked.
Swann is the first England spinner to take 25 wickets in an Ashes series since Jim Laker took 46 in 1956; and far more important than the statistics, Swann won the crucial moments for England, by dismissing batsmen whether they had just come in or become well-set.
On the last day at Riverside, when Australia reached 147 for two in pursuit of 311, it was Swann who kept England in the game with those two wickets, until England’s seamers — especially Stuart Broad — were stirred to play their part. If they had not been stirred, surely Swann would still have had the final say.
But a five-Test series should be played on five different stages in order to maximise the drama and public interest. Then a series is a true test of the players because it spans a wide range of conditions.
Playing every match on the same sort of pitch — as if England had carted one drop-in pitch to every venue — has resulted in a Pyrrhic victory.
In these circumstances, where the ball has never come on to the bat, England have batted more productively than Australia but not more entertainingly: the tourists have scored well above three runs an over, sometimes collapsing in the process of course, while England have scored well below three.
If a cricket crowd likes nothing better than the sight of a batsman ‘on the go’, they will remember Michael Clarke at Old Trafford — for Kevin Pietersen’s century was an act of self-discipline — or Shane Watson at the Oval, or Ashton Agar’s 98, the world Test record for a number 11.
And England’s dependence on Swann to do the business on a dry pitch in every match was an admission that Australia’s pace bowlers were just as good or better. In itself this admission does not bode well for England’s prospects on livelier pitches this winter, given that Swann last time held sway only in Adelaide and had an overall record of 15 wickets at 39.
Whereas Swann fulfilled all the expectations of him, Ian Bell exceeded them and became the man of this series for some great batting. Like no other batsman on either side, he found a way to score consistently on these dry and ever more tiresome pitches.
As a traditional batsman, not a modern bludgeoner, Bell came into this series equipped with two advantages: endless patience, at least until he had reached his century (he has not gone beyond 113), and a late-cut, with which he has scored more than a quarter of his runs to third man.
If this sounds too critical of England’s strategy, their way of exploiting home advantage has been usually — if not ever — thus. Defensive batting through the series, then a minefield for their finger-spinners, usually at the Oval: this has been the successful formula in 1926, 1953, 1956, 2009 and 2013.
The glorious uncertainty of cricket is reduced by dry, slow pitches. This is exactly why they were ordered: to eliminate the possibility of Australia winning with their seamers. It is a certainty, however, that England will not have the same pitches prepared next summer for the five-Test series against India, who have Ravi Ashwin and Ravi Jadeja, a fine offspinner and slow left-armer. Pitches next year will no doubt be as green as this summer’s have been brown.
If this series has touched new heights in one particular area, it has been in chasing the ball to the boundary. David Warner for Australia and Jonny Bairstow for England have raised the bar with their sprinting, headfirst diving, clawing the ball back, then firing it to the keeper. Sport has never seen this combination of skills.
This series has also been notable for DRS taking up too much time; and for the field of play being turned into a school playground or street market when there is a review, or at the fall of a wicket, or the changing of the ball, when subs in bibs — seemingly by the dozen — run on with drinks and towels. It should not be allowed except at the official drinks break in mid-session. Current practice ruins the sanctity of the field and demeans the occasion.
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